falling awake.

Eagle in the dark
Feathers in the pages
Monkeys in my heart
Rattling their cages
Found a way to bloom
Another ghost to follow
Said its only up to you
It’s the hardest pill to swallow

My body tingles, I sit to type, the intercom rings, I ignore it- as usual, as always. Its dark in my room, its darker than it should be, Karachi breathes heavy, Karachi breathes strong. The cities seen a lot, its seen a lot without me, but irrespective it welcomes me back with open arms. Like a best friend who’ll pause for a split second before embracing you once again, like a dog whose missed its owner but has its own pride to uphold- the city wakes and sleeps, folding and unfolding me within its creases once again.

You never get to choose
You live on what they send you
You know their gonna use
Things you love against you
One foot in the grave
One foot in the shower
There’s never time to save
You’re paying by the hour
And that’s just the way it goes
Falling awake
And that’s just the way it goes

The bubble bursts, only to be replaced by another one. You enter the real world, you loose baggage tickets and bum lighters at Dubai airport, you act like an adult, fighting for your time to speak and your time to stay quiet- and you become the person that you were sent away to become. And then you come home, and your body slumps at luxury, you watch other people make your tea, you become accustomed to your ashtray being magically cleaned every morning, your dog rests silently at your feet- the song ends, only to be replaced by a new one.

Slipping through the bars
Aware of the danger
Of riding in the cars
Taking candy from
never out of hand
Never out of pocket
Super sonic man
Do you want to buy a rocket

He has a new car, you still sit in the front seat. Conversation survives between two even though there are many more in the car, you run out of credit, you forget to take your keys and make your brother stay awake to open the front door for you. Your body swims in old clothes, your hair tied up, your exterior sweats, you complain about a heat that you’ve grown up with. Funland is lovely, Café Clifton serves you the same tea in the same cracked flowery glass. The sun sets all over again, even though it went through the same endeavor the day before. You stare out of your window and watch the world you know turn from yellow to pink to violet to midnight purple. Karachi never really becomes completely dark. The colors know, the colors have a new heaviness to them, they see you and they see what you have seen and what you have been through- and they sympathize. They pat you on the back, they salute, they tell you that they’ve seen other people survive this, that you too will survive.

Well that’s just the way it goes
Falling awake
Falling awake
And that’s just the way it goes
Falling awake
Falling awake
Eagle in the dark
Feathers in the pages
Monkeys in my heart
Are rattling their cages
I could learn to play the game
Learn to run the hustle
If I only had the brains
The money or the muscle

Cocoon yourself in unconditional love, bask in the glory of familiarity and smiles that you’ve seen a million times before. Tread the same streets, make the same conversation, do all those things that made you complete before the humanity was scrubbed away.

Baby, you’re home.