somanyletters.
what do i
what do i
what do i need to do to get myself in a better mood
Its late, I’m sitting in my room, Shivs and Lauren (the girls who officially live in my room) are sitting around, doing a lot of nothing. Lauren has her incredibly-formal-dress on, with heels and earings and the whole look. She puts on her bright pink bathrobe, goes to change while Shivs ponders over some random Biology problem. I sip on my diet coke, enjoying the easeful silence, thinking to myself.
Completely Ordinary.
what do you
what do you
what do you need to do to get yourself in a better mood
I missed all my classes today, I feel kind of useless watching the two of you working away. I call up Keish and ask him what he’s up to. I invite myself to his room, needing to catch up on the Economics that I missed, and just generally needing to catch up.
Its warm outside, by warm I mean around -5 Celsius or so. I throw on my coat, pick up my ipod, make sure I have nicotine on me and slip on some shoes. I say bye to the girls, knowing full well that they’ll still be there when I get back and make my way to the elevator.
well there's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in
and theres not a lot for you to feel if youre not feeling it
you bring it up
and bring it in
On the way down, I put on my headphones, choose ‘shuffle songs’ and let some random song soothe me into numbness. I walk out onto the first floor, wave to Simin and Sami, and walk through the big doors into the cool night air.
First foot out the door, the pleasant acoustic number transforms into pure base. The wind hits you straight in the eye, the heavy comfort of plastic heating dissolves into the night sky. You’re feat move effortlessly through twigs and rogue tufts of snow, spring is coming, its in the crisp breeze, its between the branches, its beneath you, above you, beyond you.
and we'll get you fixed up in no time
what i wanted most
what i wanted most
what i wanted most was to get myself all figured out
what i figured out
And so you begin the journey from one dorm to another. It’s a short walk, a walk that can be made from underground tunnels and connecting passages. But you always take the long way. Life is always poignant in the inbetweens, not in the moments. My walks often more to me than my eventual destinations.
The song continues, you walk between couples holding hands and people running from class to class. You keep your vision focused, heaven forbid you meet someone you know and have to take of the headphones and face reality in all its containment. You stroll by Robin and his men, you smile through Michelle and her trio, you walk because you own this dinky little piece of pavement, you walk because you feel the need to arrive.
what i figured out was i need more time to figure you out
there's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in
and there's not a lot for you to feel if you're not feeling it
You reach his dorm but pause before you go inside. You rest your back on the smooth shiny glass doors and watch cars drive by. You look at the trees lit up with fairy lights, you see the campus center huddled between bare branches and sparkled moonlight. Inhale, exhale- thoughts leave you and others take their place. And you don’t notice, you don’t complain.
you bring it up
and bring it in
and we'll get you fixed up in no time
cause this love is all i have to give
this love is all i have to give.
The cigarette is nearly over, the song reduces till it disappears entirely. You let the nicotine fall through your fingers, stub it out with your left shoe and begin rummaging through your bag for your keys. You insert, turn right and re-enter a life that you’ve often confused with home.
And the door shuts behind you, and you realized you just experienced a string of moments that could resemble things close to pure momentous joy. And you shudder, because you realize that you havn’t lost all feeling, and that you are still able to reach out and touch. And when the shudder leaves you, your left with a wry smile on your face, mingled with enough strength and enough hope to get through another day, another heartache, another downfall.
Because with moments like these you know you’ll always, always come back up again.
what do i
what do i need to do to get myself in a better mood
Its late, I’m sitting in my room, Shivs and Lauren (the girls who officially live in my room) are sitting around, doing a lot of nothing. Lauren has her incredibly-formal-dress on, with heels and earings and the whole look. She puts on her bright pink bathrobe, goes to change while Shivs ponders over some random Biology problem. I sip on my diet coke, enjoying the easeful silence, thinking to myself.
Completely Ordinary.
what do you
what do you
what do you need to do to get yourself in a better mood
I missed all my classes today, I feel kind of useless watching the two of you working away. I call up Keish and ask him what he’s up to. I invite myself to his room, needing to catch up on the Economics that I missed, and just generally needing to catch up.
Its warm outside, by warm I mean around -5 Celsius or so. I throw on my coat, pick up my ipod, make sure I have nicotine on me and slip on some shoes. I say bye to the girls, knowing full well that they’ll still be there when I get back and make my way to the elevator.
well there's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in
and theres not a lot for you to feel if youre not feeling it
you bring it up
and bring it in
On the way down, I put on my headphones, choose ‘shuffle songs’ and let some random song soothe me into numbness. I walk out onto the first floor, wave to Simin and Sami, and walk through the big doors into the cool night air.
First foot out the door, the pleasant acoustic number transforms into pure base. The wind hits you straight in the eye, the heavy comfort of plastic heating dissolves into the night sky. You’re feat move effortlessly through twigs and rogue tufts of snow, spring is coming, its in the crisp breeze, its between the branches, its beneath you, above you, beyond you.
and we'll get you fixed up in no time
what i wanted most
what i wanted most
what i wanted most was to get myself all figured out
what i figured out
And so you begin the journey from one dorm to another. It’s a short walk, a walk that can be made from underground tunnels and connecting passages. But you always take the long way. Life is always poignant in the inbetweens, not in the moments. My walks often more to me than my eventual destinations.
The song continues, you walk between couples holding hands and people running from class to class. You keep your vision focused, heaven forbid you meet someone you know and have to take of the headphones and face reality in all its containment. You stroll by Robin and his men, you smile through Michelle and her trio, you walk because you own this dinky little piece of pavement, you walk because you feel the need to arrive.
what i figured out was i need more time to figure you out
there's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in
and there's not a lot for you to feel if you're not feeling it
You reach his dorm but pause before you go inside. You rest your back on the smooth shiny glass doors and watch cars drive by. You look at the trees lit up with fairy lights, you see the campus center huddled between bare branches and sparkled moonlight. Inhale, exhale- thoughts leave you and others take their place. And you don’t notice, you don’t complain.
you bring it up
and bring it in
and we'll get you fixed up in no time
cause this love is all i have to give
this love is all i have to give.
The cigarette is nearly over, the song reduces till it disappears entirely. You let the nicotine fall through your fingers, stub it out with your left shoe and begin rummaging through your bag for your keys. You insert, turn right and re-enter a life that you’ve often confused with home.
And the door shuts behind you, and you realized you just experienced a string of moments that could resemble things close to pure momentous joy. And you shudder, because you realize that you havn’t lost all feeling, and that you are still able to reach out and touch. And when the shudder leaves you, your left with a wry smile on your face, mingled with enough strength and enough hope to get through another day, another heartache, another downfall.
Because with moments like these you know you’ll always, always come back up again.
posted by discopapaya at 8:17 PM
1 Comments:
okay so the answer for the first question : you need ME
and for the second question : i need YOU.
yes baby this is where it's at.
i am jealous i wish i could write these small moments in such a defined manner. then again, i wish for alot of things.
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