this is the most boring blogpost ever.
iTunes lets me down, so many times, too many times to count.
Its almost two in the morning, im waiting for you two to come back from white castle so I can eat, be a good host and then go to bed. My roomie leaves every Saturday morning and comes back Monday morning, I have the room to myself, its nice. My friends pretty much move in, they take over everything, and all of a sudden im not living with one other person, but with four other people. They sleep over, they watch tv, the encroach on any sort of flimsy privacy that I may have been naive enough to assume.
Alone time is hard to get here, especially when your incapable of saying no and are completely terrible at asserting your opinion. So you wake up with someone walking in and you go to sleep with people watching TV and laughing and joking. Last semester, with the whole insecurity that comes with being in a new place with no friends, was all about being surrounded by people all the time. Last semester, I would have killed for this situation. This semester however, im bitter and restless.
Things have changed, more than I can ever begin to comprehend, more than I care to make sense of. Im exhausted all the time, everywhere, in every moment. Ive fallen miserably sick too, but its the oddest kind of sick. Everything hurts, im lamely week and fainty, I have an incredibly high fever- but no cought, no flu, no cold. I look fine, im just.. not.
On paper, life is pretty fucking amazing. My grades are decent (except for that amazing 2/10 in my last math quiz- fuck exponential functions. really.) my friends are beyond brilliant. Im antisocial, but im missed, im sick, but I get to miss class. Things are fine.
Oh no.
I cant remember the last time I was happy.
-
And the music plays.
2-47 in the morning, I claimed that I was going to bed and you all marched out of here. Goodnight hugs were shared, we didnt need to say 'see you tomorrow' because its implied. My girls mean the world to me.
Lauren gave me some herbal sleeping pills earlier, and its been about eight hours and nothings happened. I can feel exhaustion sear through my body, I can feel my head bow low with weight, but the thoughts in my head give me no rest, none at all.
I give up.
I give up, because I cant articulate anything right now.
Miserable.
So,
so,
so,
low.
Its almost two in the morning, im waiting for you two to come back from white castle so I can eat, be a good host and then go to bed. My roomie leaves every Saturday morning and comes back Monday morning, I have the room to myself, its nice. My friends pretty much move in, they take over everything, and all of a sudden im not living with one other person, but with four other people. They sleep over, they watch tv, the encroach on any sort of flimsy privacy that I may have been naive enough to assume.
Alone time is hard to get here, especially when your incapable of saying no and are completely terrible at asserting your opinion. So you wake up with someone walking in and you go to sleep with people watching TV and laughing and joking. Last semester, with the whole insecurity that comes with being in a new place with no friends, was all about being surrounded by people all the time. Last semester, I would have killed for this situation. This semester however, im bitter and restless.
Things have changed, more than I can ever begin to comprehend, more than I care to make sense of. Im exhausted all the time, everywhere, in every moment. Ive fallen miserably sick too, but its the oddest kind of sick. Everything hurts, im lamely week and fainty, I have an incredibly high fever- but no cought, no flu, no cold. I look fine, im just.. not.
On paper, life is pretty fucking amazing. My grades are decent (except for that amazing 2/10 in my last math quiz- fuck exponential functions. really.) my friends are beyond brilliant. Im antisocial, but im missed, im sick, but I get to miss class. Things are fine.
Oh no.
I cant remember the last time I was happy.
-
And the music plays.
2-47 in the morning, I claimed that I was going to bed and you all marched out of here. Goodnight hugs were shared, we didnt need to say 'see you tomorrow' because its implied. My girls mean the world to me.
Lauren gave me some herbal sleeping pills earlier, and its been about eight hours and nothings happened. I can feel exhaustion sear through my body, I can feel my head bow low with weight, but the thoughts in my head give me no rest, none at all.
I give up.
I give up, because I cant articulate anything right now.
Miserable.
So,
so,
so,
low.
posted by discopapaya at 11:47 PM
1 Comments:
same here. i can't get away, can't be alone.
so life is just pretty miserable.
hug? new york ab aajao please. bohat hogayi hai.
Post a Comment
<< Home