americanbaby,

Hush now, dont explain.

After a long long time, the room is empty, and you realize that you better make the most of it until someone else comes and interrupts the silence of geometrically sound music playing in your ears. Its almost five in the morning, and you realize you should be in bed. Tomorrows Sunday, and everyone knows that Sundays are crucial to your academic well being for the upcoming week. But you dont care, you dont shut off your lamp, you dont take of the makeup.

Head rests agains the wall, body covered in the burnt orange comforter. You can see your perfectly painted finger nails work their way around the keyboard. You can see the scented candle flicker in the distance. You have your headphones on, eventhough theres no one to disturb. But you like the fact that outside the headphones, the air is still of silence. You like the way it presses down on you, you like the heaviness in your shoulders.

We had some good times, we had some great times. We had times that I still return to when I feel unwanted or vulnerable. Sometimes, when the world just doesnt work right, or time doesnt evolve the way I want it to, I go back to you, I hunt down the same spaces, I go back to a life that died, a life that ive mourned in my own pouty existential way.

Im done now.

Ive moved on baby doll, I would apologize if you hadn't made me hurt the way you always did.


Lets go make some mistakes.